For my GϋmmyBear ϋϋϋ

It has been so long, it has been such a long journey, the path I have traveled, a path sure to end up in misery and nothingness. Self hatred, self destruction, not being able to grow, not being able to express one's true feeling about the world, and how I would like to embrace it's beauty. Torn apart by the past, its weight upon my shoulders, chains that shackle the essence of my soul. Mistakes and wrong decisions, wrong turns. Actions that turned from bad to worst, not knowing I was already writing my own oblivion, running towards something that I despise.

I was once lost, lost in a life not even worth the blessings God has been giving, the opportunities that He continues to show me. It even came to a point that I lost all hope. Hopelessness and despair chewed upon my longing for a better tomorrow, a better me. I even began to ask my self,"How could anyone love a person like me? Not even God, I think, could look at me". But in the time of one the lowest I have ever been in my life, God took my hand, guided me through the dark, and rested my weary soul on His heart, and then for the first time in ages, gave me this feeling of warmth, this feeling that I could be a better person, this feeling that gave HOPE to this lost being, a feeling that up to now, continuously grows even more powerful and ever overflowing with such magnitude....

IT WAS AT THAT TIME, A TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE

THE TIME

I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER...

Falling in love with her meant the world to me.. It was then at that time I felt the drive to live life again, to live with purpose and to do better, to be the best that I could be, because this time, I have this person to live for. before, I could only say, "Bahala na.. Ok lng naman kung ano mang yari sa akin..", because before I could only think of myself, and almost all the time I just didn't care. But God turned my life around when He gave me the opportunity to fall in love with her. The love that I feel for her came from the LOVE that God gives us, because from this love that I feel for her, I became a new person, a person that sought for a better me. Isn't it, that when your in love, you want to be the best that you can be for that person? It was the same for me, but in a way different, because this time I don't want ONLY be the best person I can be, rather, the best person God wants me to be. Don't get me wrong, it was not LOVE at an instance, falling in love is a journey in itself already. She became MY GREATEST BLESSING, an angel sent by God to show me how beautiful life is, to make me feel how much God loves me.

FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I WAS LOST AND IN PAIN

SHE CAME WITH GOD's GUIDANCE AND GRACE

MY GREATEST BLESSING

In the relationship we have, guided and centered upon God, created and formed by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, we both felt humbled and very blessed by each other. Honestly, I feel that I do not really deserve to feel this way, someone like me doesn't deserve this kind of blessing, but SHE constantly shows me and makes me feel that God loves me so much, and that it was His plan that we be together, so who are we to judge, who are we say we don't deserve each other, it is in this thought that I am so amazed by our relationship, humble but OVERFLOWING with God's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. This relationship, the LOVE, it is ours as our special bond, but we want to share it with our families, friends, and even the people we meet along this journey we travel together.

SHE IS NOT JUST MY GIRLFRIEND...

SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND, MY SISTER, MY MOTHER,

MY TEACHER, MY BLANKET, MY "MAESTRO",

MY NURSE, MY DOCTOR,

MY PILLAR OF STRENGTH, MY CONFIDENCE,

MY PARTNER IN LIFE, MY LOVE..

AND I KNOW MUCH MUCH MORE..

August 27, 2009, that day, the day we promised with GOD to take care of each other, up to now, and in all the years that will come, it was, it is, an will be a journey I would take, as long as SHE is with me, centered upon God, for NOTHING COULD BREAK WHAT GOD PUT TOGETHER.. If this relationship was just BOTH of US, it would not last, but this relationship is formed not only by us but with God, our families, our friends. Everything I was is now in the past, but not forgotten, but learned from, everything I am now is because of all the LOVE I receive, especially from HER, and everything that will be is in God's hands. We are still forming our foundations, but it is already a BLESSING to feel this way, to be able to share this LOVE that we share. We treat every obstacle that comes, every quarrel, every "tampohan", every fight we have as another pillar that we can use to further strengthen our relationship. She is my wings that lifted me through the depths of sorrow, and my feet that keeps me standing strong through hardships in life. She shows me how life is such a beautiful journey, full of hope and promise.

I'M GREATLY BLESSED AND LOVED BY GOD,

FOR HE GAVE ME ONE MY GREATEST BLESSINGS IN LIFE

RANNESSA ZERDA REJANO,

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,

MY GUMMYBEAR,

HONEY,

MY PURPOSE

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

" I thank God for everyday, every moment, every blessing, because when He decided to create ME, He already planned for ME to be with YOU"

For my Butterfinger ϋϋϋ

How will I thank God for all the things he gave me? How will I express what this heart tell? It's very very difficult because what I feel is not ordinary. If I could put it to words it would be infinite. It's a feeling that I want to value more than my life. Such a cliche, but that's what it is. Everything God gave me, all those things were really amazing. But still I become selfish and I just ask and ask that such blessings become ordinary. It became unnoticeable. The moment I receive it, I forgot to thank HIM. Sometimes, I took HIM for granted. With just that, I don't deserve to be bless with such LOVE. My sins were not yet included there. So, I don't deserve anything at all.

But God, was still there. Looking for me with open arms and still gave me the GREATEST BLESSING I ever have. He used this person to make me realize that I'm forgiven and God loves me so much. I can't believe it for I don't deserve God's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all the things I've done. But still, this person raise me up and help me walk the right path. He remind me my PURPOSE. Everytime I thanked him for making me strong, He just said "You are already strong you just forgot where it is, I just help you find it" I can't imagine how my life change. Before, my life was plain simple but when he came it was a gasping beauty. He's not just my boyfriend but my bestfriend, brother, father, pillow, punching bag, photo-outdoor buddy, partner in crime, teacher, nurse, CONFIDENCE, STRENGTH, my LOVE. He let me view life better than it was. Simple things became extraordinary. Every second is precious. My life became colorful. Every moment I'm with him, I JUST COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE. How can I thank God for this GIFT? It is an OVERFLOWING GRATITUDE and how I wish I could express it the way I feel.

August 27 up to now, was hard but a GOOD one. I cried, depressed, discouraged, weak, became hopeless, have insecurities, I ask God why, But he reminded me that we should thank God because it's a blessing. He said this things weren't just obstacles that we're going to curse but hardships to learn on. These are ingredients for a strong foundation in our relationship. He never surrenders to make it stronger. He became my feet in order to stand up. He just hold my hand and I feel his bravest heart. His sincerity, hope, positive outlook, care, respect, GREAT LOVE. How lucky I am. I will never replace this with anything. That's why every day is a celebration for us because it's not how long we are but how strong we become. Four months? short huh? But, each day was a GIFT from God.

I'm really the LUCKIEST GIRL EVER!
Because I was given a GREATEST BLESSING.
Him.
Paulo Gregor Esquejo Oller.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
My BUTTERFINGER,
BABY,
PURPOSE,
LOVE OF MY LIFE.

Just like I said to him.
"Living in the moment is not forgetting the past or future.It is realizing that they are insignificant to the joy of the moment. He is my moment. Best things happen unexpectedly."ϋϋϋ

Happy Fourth Monthsary! ϋϋϋ

*Gummybear*