Sunday, December 27, 2009

For my Butterfinger ϋϋϋ

How will I thank God for all the things he gave me? How will I express what this heart tell? It's very very difficult because what I feel is not ordinary. If I could put it to words it would be infinite. It's a feeling that I want to value more than my life. Such a cliche, but that's what it is. Everything God gave me, all those things were really amazing. But still I become selfish and I just ask and ask that such blessings become ordinary. It became unnoticeable. The moment I receive it, I forgot to thank HIM. Sometimes, I took HIM for granted. With just that, I don't deserve to be bless with such LOVE. My sins were not yet included there. So, I don't deserve anything at all.

But God, was still there. Looking for me with open arms and still gave me the GREATEST BLESSING I ever have. He used this person to make me realize that I'm forgiven and God loves me so much. I can't believe it for I don't deserve God's UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all the things I've done. But still, this person raise me up and help me walk the right path. He remind me my PURPOSE. Everytime I thanked him for making me strong, He just said "You are already strong you just forgot where it is, I just help you find it" I can't imagine how my life change. Before, my life was plain simple but when he came it was a gasping beauty. He's not just my boyfriend but my bestfriend, brother, father, pillow, punching bag, photo-outdoor buddy, partner in crime, teacher, nurse, CONFIDENCE, STRENGTH, my LOVE. He let me view life better than it was. Simple things became extraordinary. Every second is precious. My life became colorful. Every moment I'm with him, I JUST COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE. How can I thank God for this GIFT? It is an OVERFLOWING GRATITUDE and how I wish I could express it the way I feel.

August 27 up to now, was hard but a GOOD one. I cried, depressed, discouraged, weak, became hopeless, have insecurities, I ask God why, But he reminded me that we should thank God because it's a blessing. He said this things weren't just obstacles that we're going to curse but hardships to learn on. These are ingredients for a strong foundation in our relationship. He never surrenders to make it stronger. He became my feet in order to stand up. He just hold my hand and I feel his bravest heart. His sincerity, hope, positive outlook, care, respect, GREAT LOVE. How lucky I am. I will never replace this with anything. That's why every day is a celebration for us because it's not how long we are but how strong we become. Four months? short huh? But, each day was a GIFT from God.

I'm really the LUCKIEST GIRL EVER!
Because I was given a GREATEST BLESSING.
Paulo Gregor Esquejo Oller.

Just like I said to him.
"Living in the moment is not forgetting the past or future.It is realizing that they are insignificant to the joy of the moment. He is my moment. Best things happen unexpectedly."ϋϋϋ

Happy Fourth Monthsary! ϋϋϋ


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